Somewhere in the Boston area today, a lucky person probably enjoyed homemade raspberry jam and beach plum jelly from Martha’s Vineyard, courtesy of yours truly.
In my infinite wisdom, I packed the jellies in my bag for my flight home from Boston’s Logan Airport. Thought nothing of it, until the bag screener security lady called out, “Bag check on #6,” followed by the sinking feeling that she was referring to my bag, followed by other passengers shooting me the death stare because my luggage was holding up the line.
Another security officer came over, unzipped my bag and pulled out the jars.
“You can’t take these on the plane.”
I pleaded my case, getting more and more bummed out, sighing a lot, and explaining that one of the jars was a gift (don’t know why I thought that would help the cause). It came down to this — jellies and jams are banned because they’re “spreadable.”
Alrighty then. My fault for not knowing the rules. I guess I’ve just never considered the security risks of fruit preserves.
Like from a scene in the old A&E series “Airline,” and with my jellies confiscated (No jellies for you!), I let out an audible “F#*&!” while walking away. I was pissed at the security officer, but mostly I was pissed at myself for being stupid.
The lesson: If you’re flying, leave the cream cheese, peanut butter, hummus, Nutella, jelly, mayo, or any other spreadable condiments at home. They will be taken. And I’m sure they will be eaten… just not by you.