I once dated a girl — and I’m 99.9% sure she would never read this, so I feel okay writing about it — who was a picky vegetarian. Not a vegan, but a vegetarian who disliked many fruits and vegetables.  And I remember sitting there at meals biting my tongue, thinking, Really?  You can’t tolerate that tomato? Peppers — no-go on those, too?  What are we going to eat here, air? I couldn’t even cook for her because there was a good chance she wouldn’t like what I made.

Obviously, that’s not the reason why we broke up, but it did cause some teeth-gnashing on my end that we had no food experiences to share. Everyone has deal breakers when it comes to compatibility: He’s a red-stater, she’s a blue-stater; she’s 6’1, he’s 5’4; she likes Jay Leno, he’s a Conan guy, and so on.

Where do picky eaters fit in?

I’ve talked with married and non-married friends about this, and we’ve all come to the same conclusion: If you’re an adventurous eater and your significant other is picky, that’s going to create some friction.

Think about how much of our relationships revolve around the rituals of food. When you’re dating, what do you do? You go out to eat.  I can’t speak for the married folk, but I imagine there’s still a food element of sitting down every night together (hopefully) for a meal.

So what if you try to introduce new and interesting foods to your family, or you want to check out that new Mexican place down the street, only your fussy partner refuses to eat anything besides a chicken cutlet or something.  I can’t even imagine. That’s my worst nightmare. (That, and being one of those couples who’ve exhausted all conversation topics and sit in a restaurant silently reading the newspaper.)

My point is, dining compatibility is important, beyond the simple act of eating.  Food provides a window into other cultures and people; the willingness to try new things indicates a certain level of curiosity; and the act of experiencing and sharing a meal together can bond us in a deep and profound way.   Can you imagine if during the pivotal end scene of Big Night, Stanley Tucci’s character whipped up that frittata for his brother as a gesture of his love, and his brother responded, “No thanks, I don’t eat eggs.” Scene = killed.

The fact that you’re reading this blog shows that you probably have a sizeable interest in food.  So what are your thoughts on this — have you ever dated a picky eater?  Do you have a food-phobic partner, and is it a source of frustration, or have you learned to deal with it?